


Two Nights Maybe

by MissLittyKitty



Series: Nights Series [2]
Category: Actor RPF, American Actor RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Humor, MissLittyKitty, Night Series, One Night Only, One Night Stands, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 21:01:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4034464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissLittyKitty/pseuds/MissLittyKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Continuation of "One Night Only"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> A super massive shout-out to my Super-Beta Wusch!! I still love you, Mama!!! :P

Setting my own camera down on the low coffee table, I walked the few steps over to the refreshments and poured two mugs of coffee. With them in hand, I made my way back to the wicker couch where Jeremy had sat himself down and was smoking a cigarette. Without a word, I handed him one of the mugs and settled into the cushion next to him.  
“How are you holding up?” I inquired in a quiet voice, adding, “You look pretty beat.”  
“I am”, he replied, blew out smoke and took a sip of coffee. 

“Tough night?” I asked, my lips lifting into a smirk. He mirrored me, his mouth forming into a smirk of his own as he fixed me with his soul-searching gray eyes. I felt the heat of the blush on my cheeks as once again images of last night flooded my mind: him on top of me, me on top of him; his head between my thighs, me on my knees in front of him; hands everywhere, touching, feeling, caressing. A shiver ran through my whole body, intensifying when I felt his warmth on my right side and his low voice in my ear whispering, “I spent the night with this amazingly hot woman who couldn’t get enough and made me cum four times.”  
The tingly feeling increased even more and I had to close my eyes. At the same time I firmly pressed my lips together to keep from moaning out loud. When I was sure I wouldn’t, I ever so slightly turned my head to find his eyes and replied very quietly, “I feel ya. I spent the night with an indecently handsome man who insisted on going down on me three times.”  
A very, very quiet groan left his lips, his breath caressing my cheek, seconds before he had the audacity to grace me with a very naughty smile.  
“Indecently handsome, hu?” he questioned and raised one eyebrow, making me snicker and nudge him in the ribs with my elbow. 

“Hey, what was that for?”  
“For making fun of me,” I said to which he chuckled. He stubbed out his smoke in the ashtray, leaned closer to me again and purred, “I’m not making fun of you. I’m making fun with you.” His gaze found mine and held it, his hand briefly taking hold of mine. “I’d love to make some more…fun,” he continued. “Meet me tonight for dinner.”  
My mouth had already opened wanting to tell him ‘no’; that we’d already been there just a few hours ago; that it would only make things more complicated – especially with how he had behaved this morning and how I was starting to feel about him. Yet, I couldn’t. The words simply wouldn’t leave my lips.  
I still felt the warmth of his body next to me. His lips were so close, all I had to do was lean in just a little bit to kiss him. And I wanted to kiss him so much, it hurt. But I didn’t. Instead I closed my mouth and averted my eyes, a blush once more coloring my cheeks. I saw him still gazing at me from out of the corner of my eyes and felt a shower run down my back. 

Quickly I focused on my cousin who was hunched over a laptop on the other side of the roof garden along with Jeremy’s PR Rep and the representative of the magazine that had initiated the photo shoot. They were going through the pictures Pete had taken in the past hour and a half, figuring out if they had everything they needed.  
‘Well, they had better’, I thought to myself, my gaze drifting to the sky and I lightly shook my head. With the sun now fully risen, the desired effect of the pictures could no longer be achieved. And that had been the main reason to schedule the shoot so early, before sunrise. 

Once Pete had settled in to snapping away, I’d once again taken up my own camera intending to take some scenery pictures. A sunrise is a beautiful thing to photograph: the soft, fluently changing colors from pale yellow to orange-red, interspersed with shades of blue, pink and purple. It truly is an amazing sight.  
But there is something even more beautiful and that is Jeremy Renner at sunrise. No need to say, I’d gotten distracted fairly quickly, including him in my shots, flitting here and there to get various angles and secretly hoping no one would mind.  
Never before had I taken so many pictures in the span of an hour, scout’s honor. By the time my memory card was full, I’d come to the conclusion that even the most beautiful of sunrises pales in comparison to the insane beauty that is Jeremy Renner. 

Recalling all of this now made me inwardly groan. Oh god, I’d already known I had it bad but this…this excessive raving going on inside my head was lifting my infatuation to a whole different level. Shit. And it dawned on me that in less than twelve hours, I had managed to start falling for him. Hard. Oh God.  
Movement next to me snapped me out of my thoughts and I needed a few seconds to realize that Jeremy was getting up from the couch, lighting another cigarette.  
“Okay,” I said quietly, without having really made up my mind. Now my tongue had had no problem with getting this word out. I stifled a sigh and looked up at him to find his gaze.  
“Okay what?” he inquired and I couldn’t help but giggle. 

“Okay, as in, I’ll have dinner with you tonight,” I elaborated and was rewarded by Jeremy’s brilliant smile. But it quickly turned into a smirk and he tilted his head a little to the side while he said, “I know; knew it when you didn’t protest the second I asked.”  
I gawked at him, my eyes wide and a blush once more on my cheeks which only made his smirk grow bigger. Oh damn, the way he’d said it implied a meaning more along the lines of ‘I know because how in the world could you ever resist me?’, at least in my mind and I lightly shook my head.  
“You cheeky bastard,” I mumbled under my breath and knew by his chuckle that he’d heard me. What an unbelievably smug son of a bitch – (I’m so sorry, Jeremy’s Mom!). He had me. God Almighty, he had me hooked and he seemed to know it. Just frickin’ whoop-de-do! 

“Kacey, I need your memory card,” Pete’s voice interrupted and I quickly directed my gaze to where he sat.  
“Why?” I yelled back, not certain I wanted to know the answer. They were probably going to make me delete them all. Shit. I knew I shouldn’t have taken the pictures without permission.  
“Just bring it for fuck’s sake,” he roared waving me toward him with an impatient hand gesture. So I got up with a deep sigh, picked up my camera from the table and quickly extracted the SD card.  
“I’ll be right back,” I told Jeremy who nodded and ambled over to my cousin. Despite his outstretched hand, I made no move as to give him the card. Instead I said quietly, “Please don’t delete them.” 

“What the…Kace, what the hell are you talking about? Of course I won’t delete them. We need to look through them to find the one we’re missing,” he explained a little exasperated making my eyes widen and my mouth shaping into an O-form. That I hadn’t expected at all. Probably tired of waiting for me – and I couldn’t really blame him, I was behaving kind of odd at the moment – he gripped my hand and practically ripped the small device from my hand.  
While he busied himself with his laptop once more, I slowly made my way back to Jeremy. He had moved over to the parapet, hidden behind a folding-screen. His arms rested on the top steel bar, a mostly gone cigarette in his left hand and a faraway look on his face. The sight of him like that made me hesitate. If he really was deep in thought, I didn’t want to disturb him. 

Yet, he seemed to have heard my approach because he turned his head to meet my eyes and I covered the remaining distance between us. Next to him, I leaned my back against the parapet, my gaze flicking from his eyes to his smiling lips and back.  
“Everything okay?” he asked, slightly raising one eyebrow.  
“Yes,” I said, nodding my head. “They…just want to look at the pics I took.”  
“Good for you then,” he stated, gracing me with another one of his beautiful smiles.  
“I guess,” I agreed, returning his smile. As an afterthought I added, “What time do you want to have dinner?” and wanted to smack myself a split second later for my very poor choice of words. Could I sound anymore domestic? 

To his credit, if he did notice, he didn’t let on but simply said, “Around eight. Give me your number and I’ll let you know once it’s settled.” He flicked away the cigarette butt and dug out his phone from the pocket of his jeans. While he unlocked the screen he turned his body to me and eventually his gaze expectantly met mine. I don’t know what it was exactly but something in his eyes made me step closer and squeeze my frame into the small space he’d left between his arm and his body, my back to his chest. His scent enfolded me, the heat of his body seemed to want to scorch me even through my clothes and his free hand snuck up my thigh to my hip, holding me firmly in place.  
I drew in a sharp breath and took hold of his hand which held the phone. With slow, deliberate movements of my fingers I typed in the digits while Jeremy put his head on my shoulder, observing my actions. Once finished he took over the screen to save my number into his contacts list and I felt the hand on my hip glide onto my stomach and a little further south. 

“Jeremy,” I breathed, my hand finding his and stopping it. Turning my head, I found his eyes and could’ve just drowned in them; wanted to drown in them despite the mischievous sparkle.  
“You started it,” he growled low and quiet in his throat. His hand on my stomach pulled me backward while he pressed his body more firmly into mine and I felt exactly what he meant.  
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, pulling my lower lip between my teeth, inwardly not nearly as sorry as I wanted to make him believe because let’s be honest – he’d had my panties wet with his answer to my ‘tough night’-question. 

“Tease,” he grumbled, his lips mere inches from mine and I felt hard pressed to not simply lean in and kiss him.  
“Right back at you,” I whispered, saw his eyes momentarily focus on my lips and couldn’t help the smirk. It was a hell of a lot reassuring that he obviously wanted to kiss me, too. But it didn’t make it any easier to resist.

Our gazes stayed locked, neither wanting to look away; both of us wanting to kiss so badly, but neither one wanting to risk getting caught. His pull on me was so strong, it started to physically hurt to not give in and I was about to just throw caution to the wind and go for it as there was a roaring shout.  
“Jesus Fucking Christ, Kacey!” Pete yelled and it felt as if I could literally see the resonating exclamation points. “You took 2861 pictures in an hour?” 

\------

The good thing: Jeremy didn’t cancel our dinner plans. He seemed surprised, yes. Maybe even a little flattered? I’m not sure but at least he was far from angry.  
Another good thing: the magazine representative seemed very much impressed by my pictures. No idea if anything will come of it though.  
A not so good thing: Pete seemed to be in much less of a good mood after the shoot. I mean, he generally is in a shitty mood. It’s just the way he is. But this morning while we set up and I convinced him that I knew what I was doing, he’d seemed to be in a very good mood. Now, just a few hours later while we packed up, not so much. But I didn’t let that faze me. Whatever had crawled up his ass and laid an egg could very well stay there and rot.

By the time Pete and I got back to the studio it was after One o’clock. He literally sprang from the car before I had it in park and just like that he was gone, leaving me to unload the equipment all by myself. God, he could be such a dick sometimes. But I successfully managed to push that aside as well, considerably helped by the fact that all my thoughts regularly returned to a certain someone. With a stupid smile on my face, I started to unload the car and pack away the equipment we didn’t usually need. Once done, I plopped down onto the chair behind my desk and checked the e-mail account if anything new had come up which wasn’t the case. Looking around at the almost empty space on my desk, I decided to call it a day, at least work wise. I’d had a very early start after all. And I had a dinner date to get ready for. 

On my way home, I dug out my phone to call in my sister’s help with hair and make-up and found a text from Jeremy, telling me to be at the bar of his hotel at eight tonight. At once, all thoughts of calling my sister were gone. Instead I felt a giddy excitement take hold of me; the biggest, stupidest smile was plastered onto my face and, sure enough, the butterflies were back, hopping and flip-flopping their uncontrolled dance through my insides. What the actual fuck was happening to me? I did not just fall for a one night stand, no sir. Not me. But I was! I’m embarrassed to admit it but I was doing exactly that! 

Unable to wipe that stupid, happy smile off my face, I spent the ten minutes on the subway daydreaming about Jeremy; his eyes, his smile, his hands and arms – his everything. I was so absorbed in my thoughts, I nearly missed my stop and almost had to do a head dive through the closing doors. 

During the short walk from the station to my apartment, I noticed a spring to my step which hadn’t been there before. I felt so light, so good about myself and still, this stupid-ass smile wouldn’t go away. Well, shit a brick – how the hell could I have fallen in love like this in less than half a day?  
The euphoria I felt lasted until the exact moment when I entered my bedroom for a change of clothes. Seeing my bed, and more significantly, feeling the way I had felt at the crack of dawn, standing right here – my shoulders slumped. My bags fell from my hands and my whole body just kind of collapsed. 

Who for fuck’s sake was I trying to kid? Myself? Well, I’d done a good job with it for the past hours. Yes, it was great to feel the way I did. And it was wonderful to get something in return, as well. But ultimately, this...whatever it was that I had with Jeremy…wouldn’t go anywhere. In a day or two he would be gone and I would be left behind, heartbroken. Well, shit. 

I don’t know for how long I just stood there, unmoving, unblinking. And at least for a while it seemed I wasn’t even thinking. I simply stood and stared off into space. Eventually, conscious thought returned to me. Slow at first, by thinking I should cancel dinner with him tonight because it would only make matters worse.  
But how could it get any worse? Another part of me questioned. As I just figured out mere minutes ago, my heart was already set for heartbreak. So what did another night matter? Back and forth it went in my mind until I’d had enough. I felt mentally and physically exhausted and didn’t want to think about it anymore.  
Without taking off my clothes, I fell headlong into my bed and although it came close to a miracle, I was asleep within minutes.


	2. Part 2

I walked into the hotel bar a few minutes after eight and let my gaze take in the room. About half of the small tables were occupied and a few people sat on bar stools around the counter but there was no sign of him. Feeling slightly self-conscious in my dress and more than a little unsure if I’d made the right decision in coming here, I headed to take a seat at the bar, hoping that he’d be just a few more minutes.   
The nap I’d taken earlier had helped to somewhat clear my head, at least in so far as that I decided to just take the plunge and meet him for dinner. I’d convinced myself that heartache was coming for me dead sure, one way or another; so there was no reason for me not to go. I knew what this still was, what it had always been. One night or two – it didn’t make much of a difference, right? 

So at a quarter to six I’d finally managed to call my sister Jasmine to ensure her help with fixing my hair. I’d showered while waiting for her and had been in the process of choosing an outfit when she showed up half an hour after my call. Jasmine, being much more fashionista than I am, had taken one look at the collection on my bed, another one into my wardrobe before stalking out of my bedroom only to return seconds later with a garment bag in hand. Inside had been the most gorgeous sheath dress I’d ever seen: dark purple in color, three-quarter sleeve, sweetheart neckline and a small black leather belt around the waist. 

Never in a million years would I have figured a dress like that would suit me but it did. It really did. Jasmine did up my hair and I’d even let her talk me into doing my eyes and lips although I usually didn’t wear a lot of make-up. I’d felt pretty good about myself when I’d left my apartment. But right now, I wasn’t so sure anymore.   
The bartender placed a glass of champagne in front of me on the counter and I gave him a quizzical look not having ordered anything. He clarified by pointing out a man at the other side of the bar and I heaved a sigh. I smiled politely at the man but declined the drink. I already had a date, for crying out loud. Who by the way was running pretty late. Was he standing me up?

Checking my phone, I saw that it was almost half past eight, yet no text, no missed call from him. Shit, hopefully nothing had happened. But it was more likely that one of his appointments had taken longer than planned. I decided I’d give it another ten minutes before calling him.   
Letting my gaze wander about the room once again, I started to feel a little uncomfortable sitting there all by myself so I got up and strode out into the lobby. I took up position so that I was able to oversee the elevators as well as the main entrance, just in case.   
Lots of people were milling about, some with a purpose, others just ambled along but there still wasn’t even the slightest hint of him. As the ten minutes were up, I dug out my phone before shouldering my purse. Releasing a deep, rather disappointed sigh, I dialed his number and lifted the device to my ear. It rang for a long time and I was about to hang up when there was a very strange noise on the other end, like scratching or clattering? There was some rustling, followed by another scratching sound and then the call disconnected. 

I stood for a number of seconds my gaze fixed on the display of my phone and presumably a very peeved expression on my face. What was going on? Did he hang up on purpose? Or was it just that he couldn’t talk right now? Had something happened after all?   
Before I could even think about it, my feet set off in the direction of the elevator bank. On my way up to his room, I contemplated that this was almost certainly not a brilliant idea but I had to at least check if he was in his room and if he was okay.   
Stopping in front of his door some minutes later, I put up my hand to knock but hesitated. Should I really be doing this? Probably not but I hadn’t really thought it through, simply acted on impulse. And I didn’t want to think about good or bad or about anything anymore. I was sick and tired of always over-thinking things. All I wanted was to see him again, even if it were only for a second or two. So I knocked. And waited. 

The seconds ticked by. It became a minute, then two. And I knocked again. And waited. And waited. Until…  
“Fucking shit,” I heard his muffled voice through the door. “Hang on a minute.” Something clattered followed by some shuffling and eventually footsteps sounded.   
The door was yanked open and I came face to face with a rather disheveled looking Jeremy. His darkish blond hair was tousled and sticking up in places, the tie hung loose around his neck. One side of his dress shirt had slipped from the waistband of his pants and the jacket looked rumpled.   
He blinked at me out of small, tired eyes, still crinkled from sleep and on his right cheek I could make out the imprint of probably a pillow or so. A five o’clock shadow was visible around his mouth and chin and there were faint indications of dark circles under his eyes. He looked like hell and my heart went out to him. At the same time he was so adorable, I could hardly keep myself from pulling him into my arms. 

Finally something seemed to snap in his still drowsy mind and his eyes widened. “God, I’m such an idiot,” he mumbled and ran a hand over his face.   
“I’m so sorry to have woken you up,” I told him quietly, smiling sympathetically but he shook his head.   
“No, no. Don’t you dare apologize for my messing up,” he replied, his voice husky and his expression resembling someone whose favorite puppy had just disappeared. “I’m very, very sorry, Kacey. My last event took longer than I thought it would. I arrived here at a quarter to eight and just wanted to sit down for a couple minutes but…I must have fallen asleep.” 

“I know, I understand,” I stated, sending him another smile and again acted on impulse alone by leaning toward him. My hand cupped his cheek, my thumb ghosting along his cheekbone. I pressed a kiss to his other cheek, whispering,” Get some rest” and pulled back, fully intending to just leave. As I’d said, all I wanted was to see him again which I did. I knew he was fine; that everything was okay so there really was no reason for me to keep him from his much needed sleep any longer. 

What I hadn’t expected was his hand taking a hold of my arm and gently pulling me back to him. Again his face held this lost puppy expression, his eyes wide, huge.   
“Please, don’t go,” he said quietly, drawing me closer. “Stay. Please stay with me.” And he wrapped his arms around me, holding me flush against his body and I melted into him. It was practically impossible to say no; even more so because I really didn’t want to say no. And he wouldn’t have asked me to stay if he didn’t want me there, right?   
I let my bag clatter to the floor and wound my arms around his shoulders. Behind me, I heard the door click shut but I simply breathed in his scent, a mix of cigarette smoke, his shower gel and after shave and just him. I turned my head into his neck, the tip of my nose softly tracing his jawline and I pressed a feather light kiss to the pulse point of his throat. He smelled so enticing, his warmth enveloping me, I didn’t want to let go. 

“Kacey,” he growled and loosened his grip on me, pulling away slightly to be able to look at me. His gaze briefly locked on mine before he took in all of my face, a smile crinkling his nose and the skin around his eyes. “I’m glad you woke me up.”   
“You are?” I inquired and added, “I…I wasn’t sure if it would be a good idea to…to just come up to your room. I mean…I didn’t…I didn’t want you to think I’m…uhm…clingy or something. But after…after that strange phone call I just…I had to check, you know? If…if you were alright.” 

“It’s fine, Kace,” he replied. “I’m just glad you’re not mad at me. Hell, if I were in your shoes, I don’t know…I would probably have ripped my head off.”   
He laughed at his own words, the rough sound making me smile and giggle.   
“Speaking of shoes,” I started once he had quieted. “Do you mind if I lose mine? Those heels are starting to kill me.” 

“I don’t,” he replied, his voice sounding even more gravelly than before and the way he looked at me sent multiple showers through my body.   
“Tell you what,” he continued, taking a step back, tilting his head a little to the side. “Since I owe you dinner, why don’t you call room service while I’ll freshen up real quick?”   
“Sure,” I answered, nodding, “Do you want anything special?”   
“No, nothing really. Whatever you want. I’ll take the same,” he said and walked over to the door to the bedroom. “Menu’s on top of the minibar. Oh, and I guess there’s some beer in there but maybe have them bring up another bottle or two.” 

“Will do,” I agreed and watched him disappear into the adjacent room. A smile tugging at the corner of my mouth, I slipped out of my heels and ambled over to the minibar. Sure enough, the menu sat there. I grabbed the cordless, checked the amount of beer still in the fridge and went through what the menu had to offer.   
The order was quickly placed and they said it would take about half an hour. I set the phone and menu back and plopped myself down on the couch but found something hard poking my backside. Scrambling up onto my knees, I was able to see one short side of a cell phone before it disappeared into the crack between backrest and seat cushion.   
“Oh crap,” I mumbled, got on all fours and stuck my hand into the crack, trying to feel the device. “Come on, you little...” Where had it gone? I couldn’t find it, feeling back and forth with my fingers, even moving my arm in every direction I could.   
“Oh come on,” I called out. “There’s only so much space here.”   
“Kacey, everything okay?” 

I froze and as if in slow motion, I lifted my head to find Jeremy leaning against the doorframe, intently watching me.   
“Uhm…yes,” I croaked, knowing and a second later feeling the damn blush on my cheeks. I cleared my throat and continued, “I mean, no. I accidentally pushed a cell phone – which I’m guessing is yours – between the sofa cushions and now I can’t find it.”   
He burst out, “Okay, that’s so not what I thought.” Laughter rumbled in his chest making me giggle and shake my head at him.   
“I don’t even want to know what you were thinking,” I replied but wasn’t able keep the grin from my face because I couldn’t blame him: the sight of me kneeling in my dress on the couch, my upper body slightly bouncing up and down due to me moving my hand and arm around; and for him the scene mostly covered by the backrest of the couch…. I believe you get the impression. 

“Aha,” I exclaimed a second later, my hand closing around his cell phone and I pulled it out of its hiding place triumphantly.   
Sitting myself the right way up onto the cushion, I put the phone safely onto the coffee table and told him, “Food will be here in about 20 minutes, by the way. I ordered Cheeseburgers and French Fries, hope that’s okay.”   
Jeremy clambered over the back of the couch and slumped into the seat next to me, a half surprised, half relieved “Oh god, I love you” leaving his lips and a happy smile on his face. 

I knew exactly how he meant it but I couldn’t help the fluttering in my stomach upon hearing his words and my heart starting to beat faster. But I tried very hard to push it aside and simply said, “Yeah, I’m not big on fancy food.” 

Once again his smile crinkled up his nose and only then I noticed that he’d taken off his suit and slipped on jeans and a t-shirt. He beamed at me.   
“Yet, you wearing a dress like that…it’s pretty fancy to me,” he remarked and I laughed.   
“Yeah, well that’s the difference between clothes and food,” I explained grinning and added, “and now that you mentioned it…I feel really overdressed now next to you.” I gestured at his attire than at mine. He laughed but turned serious rather quickly and fixed me with his eyes. 

“You’re welcome to some of my clothes if it’d make you feel more comfortable,” he offered and for a moment, I was too flabbergasted to do much but gaze at him. Almost as if in a trance, I lifted my hand and ran it down the side of his face.   
“That is incredibly sweet of you and yes, I’d feel more comfy,” I breathed. He took hold of my hand on his cheek, made me stand up with him and led me toward his bedroom.   
“Well then, my wardrobe’s yours but,” he said and stopped me, a twinkle in his eyes and a smirk on his face. He pulled me into his arms, grumbling, “It would be a sin to not at least kiss you once while you’re wearing this dress.”


	3. Part 3

As it turned out, only one kiss hadn’t been enough. We’d ended up making out on his bed like teenagers until room service had interrupted. And even their first knock hadn’t done the trick. It had taken the waiter three tries until we couldn’t ignore it any longer.   
While Jeremy had then gone to open the door, I’d slipped into one of his t-shirts and a pair of sweat pants. We’d settled onto the couch and Jeremy had found a soccer game to watch on the side as we ate and talked. Eventually we must have fallen into a companionable silence, watching the game and simply enjoying the others’ presence. 

“So, are you going to tell me now why you took that many pictures of me?” Jeremy’s voice made me jerk and open my eyes. Blinking I found him watching me from the other end of the couch and I sat up, stifling a yawn.  
“Hey, you’ve actually fallen asleep on me, hu?”   
“No…I don’t know,” I mumbled and shifted in my seat so that my back was against the pillows of the armrest. Jeremy was lounging opposite me in much the same fashion, his bare feet now touching mine and a smile was playing on his lips which I returned.   
“You totally were,” he insisted and sat up, still smiling.

“I…well, I was power napping,” I corrected, trying not to giggle as he tickled my feet with his toes.   
“Power napping, hu?” He chuckled, got to his hands and knees and moved nearer. “Maybe we should nap together because I know I didn’t see the end of the ballgame.”   
I laughed at his words while his hands skimmed up my shins, over my knees and down my thighs before he placed them on my lower belly, resting his chin on them and fixing me with his puppy dog eyes and another infectious smile. And to my surprise, I just felt…totally at ease. It felt familiar, natural. It felt as if I’d never done anything else but lounge on the couch with him. 

One of my hands wound its way into his hair, softly combing through it as I whispered, “Yeah, maybe we should. Lying here with you like this is pretty nice.”  
“It sure is,” he murmured, pulled out one hand from under his chin and started to let it softly run up and down my side.   
“You can go to bed, you know? Just say the word and I’ll leave,” I said quietly, mostly to reassure myself once more that I wasn’t overstaying my welcome. He lifted his head from my stomach, shaking it. 

“Nope, I’m not letting you go until you answer my earlier question,” he replied and taking in my confused expression, he added, “Why you took that many pictures?”   
“Ahh, well, we might have a small problem then,” had slipped from my mouth before I’d even thought of it. “Because I’m not going to tell you.”   
At my words his eyebrows rose. He lifted himself off of me, bracing his weight on his arms and knees and slowly clambered over me until we were eye to eye, his hands resting on either side of my neck. His thighs were touching mine, forcing me to keep my legs open and bent. 

“Are you sure?” he growled, his gaze firmly holding mine and while I was able to nod my head yes, it was impossible to stop the shivers from running through my body. For several heartbeats nothing happened, except us looking at one another. Then, he started to lean down and tilted his head to briefly place his lips on the soft spot right beneath my ear before he continued in a low voice, “It’s a good thing then I didn’t plan on going to bed alone.” 

I whimpered. God damn it, I actually whimpered. And it made him grin, the bastard. But, as I’d said, I was through with thinking, so I reacted. My legs wrapped around him, trying to bring his body closer to mine. At the same time I reached up to cradle his head in my hands, pulled it to me and kissed him. My lips caressed his and I let my tongue run over his lower lip, eliciting a rumbling groan from him. He deepened the kiss with a passion, meeting my tongue with his and my fingers tangled in his hair. Ever so slowly he lowered his weight onto me, bracing himself on his forearms and I moaned into the kiss when he pressed his hips to mine.   
Conscious thought left me for at least a few seconds. I only felt how I moved my hips against his, craving some friction; the feel of him on top of me. I might’ve even bitten his tongue because suddenly, he pulled away, bowing his head to his chest, a deep gravelly moan leaving his lips. 

“Don’t go,” I whined, my hands grabbing handfuls of his shirt and trying to pull him back to how he’d been on top of me before. Warm hands took hold of my own and gently pried them loose.   
“Kacey,” Jeremy said quietly and I had no choice but to find his gaze. The look on his face but mostly in his eyes surprised me – more so, it kind of scared the shit out of me. It was so gentle, so loving and deep, I was barely able to keep it together. 

He intertwined his fingers with mine, brought one of our joined hands to his mouth and kissed my knuckles. “We’ve got time, Kace,” he reasoned, placed another kiss on the back of each hand and pressed them into the pillow next to my head. He leaned down, brushing his lips softly against mine. “There’s no need to rush.” He left barely there kisses all along my cheekbone and down the side of my face until he reached the spot under my ear again. Briefly his tongue darted out, making me squirm underneath him and I felt his lips form into a smile on my skin.   
“Tonight,” he whispered in between his caresses, “I don’t just want to have sex with you.” He placed an open-mouthed kiss behind my ear, sending tremors of excitement right to my core before he whispered, “Tonight, I want to make love to you, Kacey.” 

More tremors ran through me but this time not nearly as pleasurable. I started to shiver and I felt the tears sting behind my eyes. Abruptly I pulled my hands from his grasp, pushed him away from me as gently but firmly as I could and sat up.   
“Kacey?” His voice was laced with confusion and I was quite certain his whole face resembled one big question mark.   
“I can’t,” I said very quietly, pressing my lips into a thin line and my eyes shut.   
“You can’t…but I thought you wanted it, too,” he said, his tone now one of disappointment and a little hurt ego.   
“Jeremy, I did…I do,” I breathed. 

“You do? Then…where’s the fucking problem because I sure as hell can’t see it.”   
I buried my face in my hands, just knowing the tears were there before I’d even touched my cheeks. I tried to sniffle as quietly as possible and dapped at the moisture on my cheeks with the tips of my fingers. Releasing a deep sigh, I stood from the couch and turned to face Jeremy, his expression still somewhat lost and incredulous.   
“The problem is that…I’m already as good as in love with you,” I admitted in barely a whisper, my voice, on top of it all, breaking. I bit my lower lip, swallowed hard trying to regain at least a little poise and continued, “I can have sex with you. I can let you fuck me…but…but I can’t let you make love to me because…I won’t be able to cope afterwards.”   
For several seconds he stared at me, mouth agape. Then he leaned back in his seat and ran both hands through his hair and over his face, mumbling, “Fuck. Shit.”   
“Yeah,” I agreed quietly, “that about sums it up.”

“That’s why you said what you did this morning,” he reflected and I forced myself to meet his gaze when I nodded. “And that’s why you took that many pictures of me.”   
“Partly, yes,” I confirmed.   
“Partly? What’s the other part?”  
“The other part,” I mumbled and sighed. “Well, for one I got carried away with my…infatuation. And second…I know you must feel at least a little like I do ‘cause I know you wanted to tell me this morning that you’d like to see me again. But Jeremy, I’ve known all along what this between us is; what it has to be. That’s why I stopped you from saying it. I needed to keep it simple for the both of us despite the feelings growing inside me. I don’t want complicated and I’m pretty sure you don’t either.” 

I paused briefly and had to avert my eyes from his intense gaze for a moment to be able to gather my thoughts; what I needed to tell him so he might understand where I was coming from. Taking a deep breath, I went on, “Strange luck made us meet again at the photo shoot only a few hours later and…I simply took the chance to…to create something for myself to which I could hold on to; which would help me remember all of you even after you were gone. And one more thing: I know you probably think me foolish or idiotic for saying I’m in love with you after barely 24 hours…trust me, I think so myself. But…it’s the way I feel. It’s…it’s the way you make me feel.”   
I trailed off and for a long while he didn’t speak; he didn’t even move but simply looked at me. Yet, I was able to tell by the way he worked his jaw a little that he was thinking about everything I’d just said. Eventually, he stood from the couch and reached for me. 

“I understand,” he said, his big, warm hands wrapping around mine. “Thank you for being so honest with me. I don’t think you idiotic, by the way. I know what you mean. There definitely is something more you make me feel, too. – But you are right. You’ve been right this morning and you’re right now. I don’t want complicated. I don’t have the capacity for anything complicated with the way my life is going.”   
He let go of my hands and instead pulled me to him, embracing me in a full body hug. I melted against him, my head tucked under his chin resting on his chest, my arms wrapped around his waist. 

“I know I’ve said it this morning but I’ll say it again…I really, really wish it was different,” he told me quietly, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of my head.   
“Me, too.” My voice was little more than just breath as a result of my losing it. The tears came as a force, I couldn’t stop them. I turned my face into his chest, trying to and wanting to hide it from him but he knew. His grip on me tightened and he simply held me for I don’t know how long. He let his hands run up and down my back and repeatedly kissed my hair in an attempt to soothe my pain. 

Of course, it didn’t help. How could it? His affection, his tenderness only made matters worse, increasing the pain. But I couldn’t bring myself to let go of him, let alone leave. As self-destructive as it may seem, I wanted…no, I needed to savor every second I could be with him.   
When my sobs subsided, Jeremy loosened his hold on me. With one hand under my chin, he made me look up at him and I saw his crooked smile. I managed to return a lopsided one and, trying to lighten the heavy mood, I murmured, “I probably look like a raccoon.”   
“Yeah, you do,” he chuckled, “but a very lovely one. Come on.” Taking my hand in his, he led me to the bathroom and made me sit on the toilet lid while he wet a washcloth. With it in hand he approached me and came to stand between my legs. 

“Close your eyes.”   
I complied. As I felt the soft, warm wetness of the cloth on my face, I felt dizzy so that my hands found the hem of his shirt and held on, bunching the fabric in my fists.   
The touch of his free hand under my chin was gentle while his cloth-covered fingers wiped the tearstains on my cheeks away. Moving higher, he brushed several times over my eyelids to remove the make-up before he tilted my head up and back a little. The cloth was cooler now as I felt it beneath my left eye swiping away the dark blotches of tear-dissolved mascara. By the time he switched to my right eye, I’d grown used to the cool dampness on my skin.   
This whole scene was so…heartwarmingly lovely, at the same time it felt almost unbearably cruel and I fought the urge to start crying again. I pressed my lips into a thin line and my hold on his shirt tightened. And as he ran the cloth very softly over my lips, my breath hitched and a sigh I hadn’t meant to make escaped me. 

“There, all done.”   
The husky tone of his voice let my heart beat faster. I opened my eyes and met his gaze. Jeremy was still leaning down toward me. His hand kept holding my chin, my head tilted back and from out of the corner of my eyes I saw him carelessly throw the washcloth in the direction of the sink before his second hand cupped my cheek.   
I felt lost in his kindness and inwardly questioned why he had to be like that; begged him even to behave like a huge asshat and throw me out.  
“I’m not going to behave like an asshat,” he said quietly, a slight tremor to his voice making me realize I must’ve said at least some of my thoughts out loud. But other than my breath hitching, I had no time to react in any way because he continued, “But I’m a selfish bastard so I’m going to kiss you now.” And with that he covered my lips with his and I was helplessly lost in him, in his kiss, kissing him back with all I had to give.


End file.
